Monday, February 19, 2007

Mommy Monday

I am going to try to have a theme for each day to make it easier for me to write and share with all of you. Mondays are going to be centered on Mommy issues. What is going on with my mommy-ness? Quite a bit.

First of all, I have been getting up in the mornings to help the kids get ready and taking them to school. It has made a big difference in how my hubby and children start the mornings. My oldest daughter, KA, is enjoying me making her a lunch just about every day. My son, J, is enjoying mom taking him to school earlier so that he can work on Tech staff. My youngest daughter, A, is enjoying watching Disney early in the morning. My husband is enjoying the lunches that I make him and the extra time that he has to get it together to go to work. I have even received a benefit from getting up with the kids. I get more done! So, all in all, it is going very well on that front.

Secondly, I have kept up with making bread for us. We don't make sandwiches from it, because my daughter wants the regular bread for that, but we do eat it for dinner as rolls and my hubby and I eat it for breakfast. I can tell a difference in how I feel and in my weight, so that is helping me keep up with the process.

What issues are we having in mommy-dom? Pre-teen issues. My son is almost 11 and he thinks that this means that he is grown. He is trying me constantly, but so far, I am keeping on top of things. He wanted to go to a middle school dance for V-Day with his friend that is a girl and I had to put my foot down about that. Dating at 10? NO WAY! The good thing is that the girl's mom was on the same wavelength as me and we are friends, so she planned something for all of the kids to keep them occupied.

Here is my question for the day. What age do you think kids should start dating? Is there a difference in the age for boys or girls? I am looking forward to hearing from all of you-especially those who already have went through this stage.

Smiles and Loves! Janis

6 comments:

Lindsey @ Enjoythejourney said...

My kids are YOUNG so we're not there yet---but I'll admit I am already nervous about the subject.

While I'm not totally against dating and think we need to resort to organized marriage contracts or anything---I do think the whole concept of dating has changed since we were "kids" out on our first dates.

The world is increasingly casual. Dating is just a long line of heart breaking experiences (especially for girls). I want my kids to go into a relationship ONLY with someone they could consider marrying. Why waste time with someone who is ultimately going to break your heart? Sure, even the best case scenarios may not work out...and I'm not saying we should never let our children choose for themselves a mate or date. BUT---we should not encourage a bunch of casual relationships, casual sex, breakups, and the like. It is why our country is filled with young adults who are so disillusioned with marriage and family life. They don't have very many good rolemodels, unfortunately.

I look forward to hearing other thoughts!

Karen said...

Honestly, I was allowed to date at 16 and although my parents thought that was reasonable, we won't be going that route with our kiddos. We have a totally different concept of dating for our kids than we were permitted to live out as young adults. We will be going the courtship/kissed dating goodbye route with all of ours.

A difference in permission for boys and girls is a double standard and truly, the boys will have more difficulty keeping their hormones under control than the girls, so making allowing boys to date earlier seems a bit backward, though many people do just that.

I believe that dating, the way our society does it now, is indeed practice for divorce. I am very grieved over the number of men with whom I shared not simply my body, but my emotions and my heart. There are portions of my heart all over the place. Those parts, even the ones that were in non-s*xual relationships, should have been reserved for dh. I don't want any of my kiddos, boy or girls, to have splintered hearts.

We will be teaching them to guard their hearts and even now don't encourage talk of boyfriends or girlfriends. They are obviously too young for that, but people think it's cute to ask them if they have a bf/gf and we tend to follow up any comments like that with comments to the kiddos about how they are far too young to worry about that and when you are ready to support a family/take care of your home, then you can talk about having a bf/gf.

Because it is a different way of thinking about relationships, we already emphasize things we want them to internalize. I wish I had understood the lifelong impact of giving your heart away when I was 10 instead of when I was 25.

chris said...

We allowed the girls to go out with a 'group'. We knew almost everyone so that helped :) - So we didn't end up with problems until they went to college!!
This is a tricky question because it really depends on the maturity level of each individual and you must remember the 'feelings' that can be overpowering when you 'think' you are in love. That's the hard one. My advise is keep the communications open and keep praying. God will show you.

Laurel Wreath said...

30 years old =) Just kidding.

Eight grade I allow group get togethers, maybe going to a movie with a group, with kids approved by Mom and Dad.

This would probably continue until 16. I probably allow dating one on one around 17 years old.

I want them to do this before they leave home and while they still have our guidance before college.

I am only at the beginning stages of this.

I personally want my house to be the house they kids hang out in, so I can monitor and get to know the kids.

Susanne said...

We've told our kids right from when they were little that God had a special someone for each of them and that they didn't have to date around to find that person. That it's more important for them to be friends and through friendship God would show them who He had for them. We've also told them from the time they were little that when it did come time to date that they shouldn't go with someone who they wouldn't consider marrying or someone who did not have the same convictions as themselves.

I personally think that this is an aspect to teach children right from when they are little when opportunities present themselves, that way when things come up when they are tweens or teens they already have within their hearts what you have planted. It won't be a big "shock" that you are bringing up when they come home saying basketball captain wants to take them out or they want to take "SusieQ" to the movies.

This is a big area of prayer for us right now as our daughter turns 17, son is 15 and youngest girl is 12. So far so good!

staceyhoff said...

My husband and I have decided that if our sons want to get to know a special girl someday that we will all sit down and have a talk around the table (or wherever) about what would honor God? And flesh out all the questions with him. Would it honor God for him to date this girl, as the world dates? Is he even interested in courting her? How could he find out? We will suggest that he spend time with her in our families home, or out with all of us. If I know the girls family to be a God-honoring family than also at her parents home. When my son is sixteen or seventeen years old, and he is courting one girl-with the intent of marrying her- we will encourage him and her to bring glory to God in their relationship to keep from anyone being able to bring charges against them (or God), by not tempting themselves with alone time ( fully alone, not in a private corner of a family room to talk with others nearby.) Of course we will Not be handing out condoms to our children when they start to grow up physically. We also would not have a problem with our sons getting married early, say straight out of high school. In fact, we believe this is honoring to God if our son is so interested in a young lady, and honoring to her and her family.

 

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